Whatever You Didn't Want To Know
by Cheeseburger of Doom
Summary: What happens when you think up random questions you'd like to ask the boys from Prince of Tennis...then you start thinking what they would answer...then you write them down...and share them with the world...


A/N: This is a collaborative effort. I wrote this with my good old friend posterior_praiser. You've probably seen her around. I'm going to force her to write her own fic one day, so watch out!! Ah, anyway, on with the show.

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Whatever You Didn't Want To Know

Once upon a dark and stormy night, a reporter was given an assignment to learn more about the junior high tennis players in and around the area. She was so excited that she almost wet herself. She was going to be able to question a bunch of cute twelve to fourteen-year-old boys, in depth! First, she had to do a little research. She rounded up the data-men from all the teams, and racked their brains for info (and slipped a few questions in while she was at it.) After coming up with an extensive list of questions, she set out to find each individual, and she hoped that none of them would deck her.

Q-Yanagisawa, where do you believe your popularity stems from?

A- It's my good looks, da ne. The ladies can't get enough of me, da ne! They all want me to kiss them with my protruding lips, da ne!

Q- Kabaji what does usu mean to you? Is it a reflection of your intense inner thoughts?

A- Usu.

Q- Tezuka. Is there REALLY a stick up your ass?

A- Hn. 

Q- Inui, what kind of data do you have on Kaido?

A-Well, his measurements are...*ahem* That is confidential information.

Q- Atobe, are you really as great as people say?

A- Of course, who could be greater than ore-sama? *tooth sparkle*

Q- Well then, is it true you've been having an affair with the entire St Rudolph tennis team?

A- Perhaps. Who can resist ore-sama? *suggestive smirk*

Q- Momoshiro, do you secretly want to be an ichinen again?

A- Ah, to be young again! *eyes sparkle* But no...I can't go back to those carefree days...*sob*

Q- Kaidoh, Do you have any knowledge of the VERY extensive data Inui has been collecting of yours lately?

A- NANI?? *hiss* ...What kind of data?

Q- Kaido...Why do you hiss?

A- *hiss* I don't know what you're talking about. *hiss* *hiss* I don't hiss. *hiss*

Q- Oishi, how do you feel about being referred to as the "mother hen" of Seigaku?

A- Ah, well. *blush* I just like taking care of people. I want to look out for my team-mates forever!

Q- Fuji, what do you think of Mizuki's fashion sense?

A- Mizuki who? I've never heard of a Mizuki. But if you mean by Mizuki that _person_ who caused harm to my kawaii ototo Yuuta, then... *eyes open, starts glowing* I have no comment.

Q- Oshitari, could you confirm if you've been selling pictures of the goings on in the Hyotei locker room and if so, may I purchase some?

A- Ah, if I had any such pictures, they would not be for sale. If I were selling pictures of that sort, I promise you would be the first to receive them. *wink*

Q- Mukahi, How far can you bend over? (Oshitari requested this question)

A- All the way! In both directions! (BEAT THAT, KIKUMARU-BITCH!) Yuushi already knows that though, why would he ask?

Q- Shishido, how would you describe a drama queen?

A- ARE YOU TRYING TO INSULT ME, DAMN IT? I AM NOT A DRAMA QUEEN!

Q- Hyoshi, ummmm…. Who were you again? Oh, you were beaten by Echizen…..weren't you?

A- I hate you. I want you to die. Leave me alone. *runs away sobbing*

Q- Jiroh, how do you cope with your insomnia?

A- *snore* hwah? I...I sleep...*snore*

Q- Akutsu, how would you respond if I said that I had pictures of you dancing ballet in a pink tutu?

A- ...How much do you want?

Q- Sengoku, what do you consider to be "lucky"? Are you still lucky even though you've lost several matches?

A- Oh, I'm lucky. In fact last night, Rhythm-kun and I-- *is cut off when something large and blunt connects with his head*  
  
Q- Are you Fuji Syusuke's brother? Can you tell me where I can find him? I have some more questions…

A- My name is YUUTA! FUJI YUUTA! In fact, why not leave of the Fuji? I'll be YUUTA YUUTA! I'm going to go get my name changed right now. Excuse me.

Q- Shinji, have you been able to find proper grip tape since Echizen took the last package?

A- I can't believe that brat. I wanted that grip tape. I deserved it more than he did because I'm better looking than he is, and I'm also older than he is. So I should have the priority. Whatever happened to respecting your seniors? I always respect my seniors. In fact, I respect my grandfather more than anyone, even though he smells kind of funny, and --

Q- Wakato-san, who do you believe has the greater number of fan girls? Yourself or Atobe?

A- Well, I do, of course. My crowd is definitely louder than his! *doesn't realize that shrieking girls can make a hell of a lot of noise, therefore compensating for lack in number*

Q- Mizuki, How would you describe the perfect outfit?

A- Well, any outfit that I am attired in is naturally perfect, since my fashion sense is impeccable. Take, for instance, this all-fuchsia ensemble that I am clothed in at the current moment.   
  
Q- Ohtori, who is your most important person?   
  
A- Ah well...*blush* That is, um...*blush*  
  
Q- Ohtori, can you just spit it out already? We all know it's Shishido.  
  
A- AAAH! *blush*  
  
Q- Kamio, how did you feel when Momoshiro stole your bike?  
  
A- I wanted to kill him! That bike was my best friend!  
  
Q- Shinji, do you realize that Kamio just referred to his former bike as his best friend?  
  
A- He...*sniffle* *for once is speechless*  
  
Q-Tachibana-san. Have you ever considered plucking?  
  
A-Plucking what?  
  
Q- Kajimoto-kun. Why the hell are you so sexy?  
  
A- I...I wasn't aware that I was sexy. Thank you for the gracious compliment.  
  
Q- Shinjyo, do you use a really cool move to make up for the fact that you have an ugly nose?  
  
A- ... DEEP IMPULSE!  
  
Q- Itsuki...are you aware that you need a nose job?  
  
A- NANDE?  
  
Q- Davide-san, where do you get your sense of humor?  
  
A-From my mother! She was good at punishment! *snicker*  
  
Q- Kurobane, why do you always kick Davide-san in the head when he's being an idiot?  
  
A- Someone has to do it, or else he'll grow up to be like his mother. *shudder*  
  
Q- Saeki, has anyone ever told you that you have beautiful eyes?  
  
A- Fuji did, a couple of times. Heh.  
  
Q- Kawamura, when did your split-personalities start?  
  
A- Split-personalties? I don't know what you're---BURNING! HALLELUJAH!  
  
Q- Yohei, how do you really feel about your brother Kohei?  
  
A- I _am_ Kohei!  
  
Q- Ahem. Kohei, how do you really feel about your brother Yohei?  
  
A- Go to hell!  
  
Q- Kisarazu, how does it feel to be Yanagisawa's doubles partner?  
  
A- He's a really nice guy, but I've started picking up on his bad habits, da ne.

Q- Kikumaru...how do you feel when people refer to you and Oishi the golden pair? 

A- Nyaaa! Well, Oishi and I are the best doubles team ever and...well...I get kind of embarrassed when they're teasing me, like Fuji and ...nyaaa...*blush*

Q- Kirihara, is it really true that you bite people you don't like?

A - Who told you that? *snap* It's not true at all...Why don't you step a bit closer? I can't hear you properly from over there.

Q- Sanada. Does that baseball cap ever come off of your head?

A- Don't ask stupid questions. I have tennis to practice.

Q- Yukimura. WHY are you in the hospital?

A- I read so many fanfics that I can't remember the real reason at all.

Q- Marui...why is your hair pink?

A- It's PINK?? But the hairstylist told me that it's light red!

Q- Niou...um, or are you Yagyuu?

A- I'll never tell.

Q- Dan Taichi. Are you in love with Akutsu?

A - Ah! I just respect Akutsu-sempai, desu! What makes you think that I...hehehe...desu??! *blush, desu* Asking someone to karaoke doesn't mean you're in love with them, desu! Aaaah! Desu!

Q- Echizen, how do you feel about being the last person questioned?

A- Madda madda da ne.


End file.
